10 Tips for Get the Perfect Valentine's Gift for Your Boyfriend

Still looking for the perfect Valentine's gift for your boyfriend but worried you'll be swept away by Valentine's mania? Here are some tips on creating more personalized, caring Valentine's gifts for the special boy or man in your life that will show just how much you care

Steps

1. Find out what his love language is. People value different things when it comes to expressions of love. If your boyfriend feels most loved when he hears words of affirmation or receives physical touch, he will appreciate loving words or a back rub more than a gift wrapped bottle of after shave. If he values acts of service, think about something you can do for him -- perhaps a project or chore he's been putting off -- and do it!

 

2. Ask first! About a week before Valentine's Day, talk to your boyfriend and ask if he has anything special in mind that he'd appreciate. Don't badger him; just ask pointedly once and work from his answers. If he can't give you any, suggest that he thinks about it for a bit and to get back to you later that same day. If he doesn't have any ideas, don't pressure him!

3. Match your gift ideas with the type of romancing he fancies. Does he really appreciate a romantic approach that will involve booking a special restaurant for a five-course meal or filling the swimming pool with rose petals? Or is he more comfortable with just the usual night on the town with lots of laughter and favorite beers as the two of you pub crawl? Take advantage of what you know about him to craft the ultimate gift or experience.

4. Do something for him rather than giving him something. If he has long wanted his hair dyed black, you could buy him some hair dye and prepare a home salon and dye it for him. Make sure you feel confident enough to get it right! You could also do this for home pedicures, massages, a yoga lesson, being a style assistant for a new look, etc. - anything you have said you'd get around to helping him do or learn some day.

5. Go homemade. It's not just about buying stuff. Valentine's is really about showing that you care. Make your boyfriend a card that says how much you love him. Write a poem or some sweet prose. Anything to say how much you care about him and the reasons why. Many people just love being told the exact reasons why they matter so much; this can be the best gift of all.

6. Give a kiss for a gift! Guys sometimes would just like a passionate kiss. If you haven't given him one yet, wow, this will be special. But most of you will have already kissed; so it's how you present the kiss that matters. Take him somewhere unique and make the kiss something out of the ordinary. For example, take a trip up a cable car, take him in your arms in the cable car and say: "We are kissing on top of this mountain in a cable car because you put me on top of the world, I love you completely". Kiss so long that the crowd claps you both. 

7. Bake something for your sweetheart. Bake some heart-shaped cookies with hundreds and thousands and "I love you" printed on them in icing. Arrange in a box and present it to him with a card. 

8. Stock the bar or man cave. Stock up your boyfriend's favorite drink supplies as a nice surprise. Be sure to add some snack food treats as well, and perhaps even a book on making cocktails or the history of beer. You might also like to consider something he can hang in the bar, such as autographed sports, TV, or movie star memorabilia.

9. Decorate a photo of the two of you. Choose a perfect photo of the two of you, decorate a frame for it and write a little something to go with it, including why this photo means a lot to you. This is a very personalized and caring gift. You can even make a wallet-sized one and include a new wallet if you've got a good idea what sort of wallet he'd like. Put a good luck heart or coin in it as well.

10.  If you're out of ideas try some traditional stand-bys:

• Chocolates. Go for dark chocolates with strong flavors like rum and raisin, chili peppers, or peppercorns.
• A sweater or a t-shirt from a favorite brand or store.
• A subscription to a sports or business magazine you know he'll enjoy reading.
• A selection of his favorite movies. Check what he has already before buying though.
• A watch. Have it engraved with love from you. This suits the more serious couple.
• Grooming products. Help him to stay looking his best.
• Boxer shorts. There might be a hint tied up in this type of gift!
• Lingerie, let him unwrap it and then you wear it, just for him. Remember, men are visual creatures.

Tips

• Guys don't usually like glass, because that's a "guy-give-girl" thing.
• If he loves you that much, anything you do as he will love with all his heart and still give you kisses and hugs afterwards.
• Pay attention to his hobbies and activities. Guys are not always about drinking and sports. If he's into model planes, trains or ships, talk to the staff at the hobby shop he usually gets his supplies and find out what he's always looking at. Get him to show you his setup and plans, then get him something that's on his list without you having asked for something specific. Same thing if he collects comics or plays roleplaying games. A new game book or supplement can lead to an entire weekend of fun for both of you.
• A man who reads may appreciate a bookstore gift certificate.
• Many men like gadgets, especially multi-tool pocket knives and other knives. Find out if he collects these or likes them, watch him when you pass displays while going out shopping for something else. That can be a very romantic gift. You may find him using it on your behalf next time a bottle needs opening or something needs to be fixed!

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Be Happy Being Single on Valentine's Day

Ah romance! It's for everyone, right? That's certainly the full throttle message of Valentine's Day marketing. Yet, this is a message that can undermine the determination of the single person to forge through this day unscathed by romantic themes. Whether you're single by choice or by circumstance, being bombarded by romantic comedies on TV, the romance novels and cutesy heart-shaped plastic gimmicks thrust into stores' front windows, and the drippy advertising everywhere can leave you feeling cranky, bothered, or even sad.

Being happy as a single on Valentine's Day is a state of mind reached by resisting the pressures to "couple up" and by celebrating the choices you've made and the way life is for you right now.

Steps

1. Get some perspective. If you feel sad because Valentine's Day causes feelings of loneliness and reminds you that you're "just" a single, it might help to realize that there are plenty of other single people experiencing Valentine's Day too. While some of them might be feeling as miserable as you, some of them are probably having a wonderful time sniggering at the pointlessness of Valentine's Day or not even bothering to give it any notice. And then there are many couples who resist Valentine's Day as much as possible, despairing of the pressure to conform to purchasing gifts and celebrating the occasion like clockwork and who find the commercialization of Valentine's Day crass even though they're in love. With this perspective in mind, it can be a little easier to stop sniffling into your handkerchief. 
2. 
   Love your singleness. Think about all the marvelous benefits of being single, from not fighting over the TV remote control to being able to keep your living space as clean or as messy as you'd like. The "couples" messaging is strong but it isn't a reflection of the full reality of how people choose to live their lives; don't fall for the hype that everyone's paired off and happy as a result. There are many very happy single people but it's just not currently fashionable to cover the happiness of being single in media or political discourse.

• Write a list of all the good points about being single. For example, free time, no compromises on the homefront, less responsibilities, etc. And think about how some of those good points would evaporate within coupledom. Focus on the benefits rather than seeing drawbacks.

• If people choose to rub your "singleness" in your face on Valentine's Day, be strong and reply with compassion: "I like being single. I get to choose how I want to live without having to make compromises, meals, or even the bed." And you might wish to mention that statistics reveal that half the community is single, with 51 percent of women, for example, living without a spouse. 

  3. Be happy within yourself regardless of your relationship status. Romantic tales often suggest that another person can complete you, with common sayings such as "my better half", "I was half the person without you", and "our two hearts beat as one" being readily asserted with few people stopping to assess what that actually means. If taken too seriously, this unhealthy perspective can mean co-dependence, loss of independence, and losing yourself in another person. That is hardly romantic! And does coupledom equate with happiness ever after? Divorce statistics and the stories of unhappy marriages seem to attest otherwise for a large group of people. Bear in mind that there's no need to change who you are, or to lose your liberty or your habits when you're single. Rather than feeling down on Valentine's Day, celebrate the strengths and achievements that testify to you being a whole and healthy person, a person who has space for love should it come along but who does not need such a relationship to create self-worth and happiness right now.

4. Avoid being swept away by the tide. You may be very romantic and long for your "soul mate" some day but patience may need to be your current virtue. There are plenty of Valentine's Days in a lifetime just as there are plenty of possible people with whom you could eventually fall in love. Sometimes what is difficult about surviving Valentine's Day as a single is the sheer preponderance of love messaging suggesting that you need to hurry or you'll risk missing the boat. If that were the case, then love in your senior years wouldn't be possible and that's just not true. Many romances spark throughout people's lives, no matter what age. In the meantime, love the life you're living and don't live for love.

• Remember what can happen to those who rush love and marry before knowing themselves. This can end in one partner realizing some day that they need to "find themselves" and the relationship suffers for it.
• Diapers are not romantic. Endless nights without sleep are not romantic. Don't rush before you're absolutely ready to commit; enjoy this single time, now or for as long as you intend it to last.

5. Treat yourself. As you're standing in the queue waiting to pay for your mundane everyday items, if you find yourself falling for the doe-eyed stuffed teddy holding a heart while wishing someone would send you one of those soppy cards, or you're salivating over the box of heart-shaped chocolates, consider treating yourself instead of beating yourself up. If that teddy is so cute you want it on your bed, give in. Or better yet, splurge on buying something you'd really like to have, like a bottle of perfume, a six-pack of European beers, a new coffee plunger, or a recent book by a favorite author. Don't make this day about deprivation!

• Do something decadent like attend a day spa all day long or go for a sightseeing flight over your city. Take along some friends if doing this alone feels weird.

6. Find out what's happening in the singles scene. A number of bars hold singles parties that will give you the chance to celebrate the day as an unattached person. Don't take your love expectations though; just go to have a great time and to discover some new people to talk to and share cocktails with. This isn't about falling for anyone out of loneliness!

7. Think of the money you're saving. The overly romantic person might reply "Ah but what price can be placed on love? It is priceless!" That kind of thinking can lead you to live a life of extravagance without focusing on the practicalities and the importance of validating relationships with words and deeds over expensive love tokens. Diamonds are expensive and they're not that good at relationship advice.

8. Love your exercise. If love has you in its grip, shake it off like you'd shake off the blues, with some good old-fashioned exercise. A run around the park, a skate across the rink, or a swim in the pool might be just the ticket to help you resist the more primal desires.

9. Consider the day after Valentine's Day. Will all those lovers continue whispering sweet nothings in each other's ears, will they keep surprising one another with candlelit dinners and trips down memory lane? It is to be hoped so. Reality however, suggests otherwise and we all, single or unattached, can fall into a habit of not acknowledging the people who matter in our life. Why not use Valentine's Day as a reminder to spend the rest of the year letting people know how much they mean to you. That will show your coupled friends that love is everywhere.

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How to Avoid SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)

How to Avoid SAD

When winter days get shorter, colder and darker, do you feel more melancholy or depressed than when the sun is shining? If so, you're not alone. Twenty percent of people in the United States react to the change of seasons with a type of depression called Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD, Symptoms typically arise in the fall and winter months, but those who are not exposed to sunlight during the day may experience SAD all year long.

Below you'll understand how to recognize SAD and manage your mood throughout the year.

Instructions

1. Take Charge of Your Mood

The three troublesome feelings: hopelessness, depression and anxiety start to develop in the fall for folks who suffer from SAD. While these uncomfortable feelings can interfere with the quality of your day, there are things you can do to feel better and avoid feeling down. The first step is to acknowledge the feelings and then commit to doing whatever it takes to alter your mood. Take charge of your emotions; don't let your mood take charge of you.

2. Turn Negative Thoughts Positive

Negative thoughts increase the more you think about them. It is possible to see the bright side by focusing on a positive thoughts. For example, replace the negative thought, "There is nothing to look forward to," with "I will find something joyful today." Look for the joy. When your mind starts thinking negative thoughts, say to yourself: "Stop mind, I am looking for joy." You do control what you think. Ask yourself: "What would I like to think today?" To find inspiration, read a positive story, poem, or if you are religious, pray each morning to encourage positive thoughts.

3. Do Not Hide or Isolate Yourself

If your tendency is to hide away and keep sadness to yourself, when you're feeling down, then you might need help changing this habit. Get a buddy to keep you on track. Isolation increases hopelessness and makes your anxiety grow. Reach out to friends. Make dates for walking and talking. Getting some exercise and fresh air can help. Discuss new ways to get through the winter. Remind yourself that you are not alone. Many people cope with the seasonal blues. It can help to overcome them together.

4. Balance Movement With Rest

Rest, sleep, nap and move your body. To feel in balance we need rest and movement. People with SAD need as much as 10 hours of sleep in the winter, and that's OK, but if you find that you're sleeping more than that, you could benefit from moving. If you are prone to insomnia or nodding off in the middle of the day, getting out of the house will get the body working to uplift the mood. Fresh air, exercise, yoga or a walk around the block will lighten your spirit. Don't postpone this type of exercise. Don't make up excuses. Take charge and enjoy a happy, healthy winter.

5. Sit in Bright Light

A specialized light box designed to mimic sunshine will kick-start your brain chemicals without the side effects of medication. Make your home sunny and bright. Keep the blinds open, sit by the window, burn good-smelling candles. Creating a cozy home will help you feel safe, warm and ready to socialize.

6. Listen to Upbeat Music and an Inspiring Audio Book

Music is calming and energizing. In the morning put on energizing music and at night play calming sounds. Listening to a book on tape is entertaining and educational. Listening to a human voice can be soothing as well. Plus, you feel less alone when being read to. Go to the library and bring home books on tape. Hearing the story will distract you from anxieties, and the soothing voice will help you fall asleep at night.

7. Apply a Grateful Remedy

The quickest cure for hopelessness is counting your blessings. When you feel the seasonal blues overtake you, don't let those momentary thoughts and feelings stop you from being grateful. List five things that you are grateful for each day. Say them out loud daily, and soon you will have reprogrammed your brain to experience the joy of being alive. Gratitude is good for body and soul.

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Snag Your Perfect NYE Date

It’s hard to believe, but 2011 is right around the corner.  With parties galore, you’re ready to ring in the New Year with the perfect date. Only problem? You haven’t exactly figured out who that might be. Don’t fret girl, we’ve got it all figured out for ya.

                 

Your BGF

You and your BGF are like two peas in a pod. When you’re hanging out, he always makes you LOL. But even though he’s jokester, you know for a fact he’s always got your back.

Why he’s perfect: So much for having to worry about awkward silences with your plus one. Since you get eachother already, you’re setting yourself up for a stress-less evening, leaving plenty of time to relax and have fun with friends. 

How to ask him: Skip stressing about finding a party pal and give your BGF a call. Tell him you’re in need of a date and, instead of trying to impress your crush, you’d rather casually go with him (he IS, after all, your best boy bud). He’s always been there when you needed him before, so why would this be any different? Just leave the midnight smooching to a simple peck on the cheek at most. Don’t want to start the year off on an awkward foot now, do ya?

 

The cutie from class

It’s a good thing you’re acing math because the only thing you’ve been able to focus on is that hottie in the front row. He seems nice and is good at math too, not to mention, his baby blue eyes make you melt.  Um, Taylor Lautner, who?

Why he’s perfect: This is a great chance to get to know your crush. From how he spent the holidays to plans for 2011, you’ll have tons of things to chat about. Even better, with tons of other people there, you don’t have to worry about the stress of a one-on-one date.

How to ask him: Get up the guts to ask this cutie to the NYE party in person. Friends on Facebook? Shoot him a quick message, asking if he wants to grab pizza with some other buds this week. Yeah, it’ll be nerve-racking, but it’ll show him you’re interested and not too shy to talk. 

Your BF

You and your BF are a match made in heaven. You’ve been together for a while and he’s always the perfect date to any occasion. You wouldn’t want anyone besides your Romeo by your side.

Why he’s perfect: For one thing, you don’t have to worry about getting a rejection to your invite. Second, you’ll get to start the New Year with a smooch from someone special. Can’t get much better than that!

How to ask him: Obviously, he already knows he’s your go-to dude, but try asking him to the party in a special way to mix things up a tad. Slip a note into his pocket while your hanging on the couch watching a DVD or spell it out in a game of Scrabble.  Whatever you do, it’s sure to make him smile.

*NYE = New Years Eve

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How to Have Fun by Yourself (for Girls)

Weather you're stuck home alone for an hour or 7 hours, you need to have some fun, girl time for yourself. Read on!

Steps

1. Put on your favorite sweatpants and tank top, or something else that's comfortable. Make sure your clothing is cozy, but not too heavy!

2. Tie your hair back into a ponytail or bun; today you shouldn't worry about styling it, so give it a break! Now the real fun begins.

3. Give yourself a salon-style pedicure.

1. Soak feet in hot water for around 5 minutes. Use a foot scrub, and rinse. Drain the tub, and pat feet dry. Apply a creamy foot lotion or cracked heel treatment. Massage it into feet.
2. Use nail polish remover on your toenails, even if there is no polish on it already. This will clean your nail surface. Clip and file your toenails short, and somewhat straight across.
3. Paint on one coat of base/top coat. Let dry, and apply one to two coats of a pretty color of your choice. Let dry. Apply top coat, and watch television while your toes dry.

4. Repeat on your fingernails.

5. If you're hungry, call the local pizza place, and order yourself a small pizza and maybe some cinnamon desert bread sticks. Yum! Don't worry about what you're eating today, it's me time. But, if you'd rather eat healthy, make yourself a salad. Drink some water to give your skin a healthy glow, along with your salad.

6.  Read some magazines, and re-create the makeup looks on yourself if that's your thing.

7. Put in a good chick flick, like 13 Going on 30, Just my Luck, She's the man, etc. Relax while you watch it.

8. Cook something! make brownies, cookies, meals, drinks, etc.

9. If it's warm, go outside where the neighbors maybe can't see you, and tan! Just be sure to use sunscreen.

10. Shop in your own closet. Lay out shirts on your bed, bottoms on the floor or a chair, and make a pile of shoes. Write down some cute outfits you could make out of them, or look up ways to re-invent your clothes. This will also let you organize your closet.

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Be a Single and Happy

Being single is not anything to be ashamed about in our age! We live in a time when most relationships break up and there is no guarantee that even the best ones will last. In the meantime, there is much to enjoy in life, and singleness has a great many benefits that those couples you envy would give an arm or a leg for!

Steps

1. Take charge of your reality and give up all that envy! Stop worrying about everyone else around you getting into relationships, and thinking that you need to as well. All those happy couples in movies and TV shows are the fabrications of Hollywood writers - fairytale imaginings designed to sell tickets and get high TV ratings. Real couples have messy lives - they fight, leave the bathroom dirty and steal the remote from each other. Give up those unrealistic fantasies of your 'soulmate', and notice how most people around you are just regular folk - good people, but not magical heroes who fix each others' lives.

2. Focus on becoming the best person you can be. Take classes, work out, grow a garden, do volunteer work, go to therapy, do whatever your heart desires - for you! Once you feel better about yourself, you will attract more friends and maybe a little romance! But once you become the person you like, you may be less willing to compromise what's important for romance.

3. This is the time for you to concentrate on yourself and figure out what you like and don't like. Make plans with friends that you haven't seen in a while. Take a nice, hot bath. Read a book, or walk the dog. Take time for yourself, and don't sweat finding someone. You can't go on looking for love, love has to find you.

4. Indulge yourself. Go out and get your nails done, have a spa day and get a massage. Just because you no longer have someone to impress or please doesn't mean you should stop pleasing yourself. You are now a strong, independent person who deserves the best. So give it to yourself!

5. Now that you're single this is a great time to go out and have fun. Flirt if you like, go out to clubs with your friends. Play the field. You are no longer committed to anyone but yourself, and you have every right to do as you wish.

6. Granted don't take the above advice as going for every piece of ass out there. You have a reputation to uphold, and a promise to your body, mind and soul to take care of you. You don't need another person to make you feel special.

7. I know its hard not to get depressed or lonely when you see other couples around you wrapped up in their own bliss (remember, it's not always that way). Just remind yourself that you love yourself and that you are special and do not need another person to complete you. One day, who knows, you may come across that special someone as well. But for now, be patient and take that time that you would spend caring for another person, to care for yourself.

8. Realize that you are still lucky and fortunate. Many people around the world are either: chronically ill, homeless, living in poverty, starving, fleeing from warfare, and have no personal freedoms due to dictatorships. If you are depressed and think you are not lucky because you are single, think again!. People in those aforementioned conditions have it harder than you!

9. Take up a new hobby! Learn guitar, join a tap class, grow a garden, write a novel, cook some gourmet meals! Whatever you've ever wanted to do, do it now. This is your time to shine and live your life. Do what makes you happy.

10. If you have low self-esteem or confidence or don't know how to love or care for yourself, then now's the time. Look in the mirror and tell yourself things you like about yourself. Repeat phrases to yourself such as "I am a strong, and beautiful individual" and tell your reflection that you love you. You need to know that you cannot expect others to make you happy. You are the only person who can make you happy in the end.

11.  In the end, once you stop focusing so much on what you don't have you'll start to realize how much you do have. Turn your negative thoughts into positive ones. Its a long, hard process, but just keep at it and soon you'll realize that the glass in not half-empty but half-full.

12. Become an optimist, a trait that helps you whether you are single, married, divorced or widowed! Keep a gratitude diary and every night think of 3 things you are grateful for. Find the silver lining in everything throughout your day, and savor little pleasures. You'll live longer, make it through tough times more smoothly, and even avoid the common cold more often!

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How to Celebrate Christmas While Traveling

Not everyone is home for Christmas and there can be a number of reasons why you're traveling over Christmas, including for work, travel experiences, emergencies, studies, and the like. This doesn't mean that Christmas has to be an event that passes by without recognition, and it's still possible to celebrate Christmas while traveling. Here are some ideas to help you make the most of a Christmas on-the-go.

1

Find out whether there are Christmas celebrations happening where you are. If you're still in your own country, this shouldn't be too difficult to find at local churches, community centers, municipal parks, etc. If you're traveling overseas to another country and you're in a country with Christian traditions, there should be a lot of similar opportunities available, subject to local traditions. And when attending church services and Christmas events, even if you don't speak the local language, it's still a great chance to soak up the atmosphere and see how other parts of the world celebrate Christmas.

• If you're in a country that is not predominantly Christian, there are still often Christmas celebrations but you'll need to find out where the Christian communities are holding these. An online search is a good place to start, as is speaking to locals.
• Even if you don't find any local celebrations, this doesn't prevent you and your companions from celebrating Christmas in your own way while traveling. You can still make the day festive by doing special Christmas related things including reflecting on the occasion.

2

Gather your friends. It's a lot more enjoyable if you can celebrate with someone else at Christmas time. This might include your travel companion(s), people you've recently met and made firm friendships with, family and friends you know in the country you're in, etc. Just do your best not to spend the day alone but to share the occasion with at least one other person.

• If you are alone that day, look at ways to be around people, such as attending church services, having a restaurant meal, etc.

3

Consider taking a Christmas memento with you. If you know you'll be traveling at Christmas time, it can be heartwarming to have a small memento from home that represents Christmas, such as a fabric ornament, a card, or a Christmas message from your family. Take it out on Christmas Day and display it or wear it as appropriate, to give yourself a little personal Christmas cheer.

4

Try to link up with family back home. With Skype, emails, and other technological marvels, it's very easy to keep in touch by video for Christmas and to say your hellos and greetings, however short. Making this connection will help make it feel like a true Christmas.

5

Give yourself a gift. It's Christmas, so give in to your desire to buy something or do something that you've been holding off on. This can help to make the day feel more special and can reward your anticipation about something that you might not otherwise get or do.

6

Enjoy the opportunity to celebrate Christmas somewhere different. If you're celebrating Christmas overseas, it's worth enjoying the fresh take on Christmas. Take photos of the displays and other Christmas elements, and take time to walk around seeing what other people are doing.

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Suicide - A Taboo Subject for a Taboo Society

Depression leading to suicide

Depression can strike anyone, anytime.

Suicide - An Introduction

What is suicide? Who does it? How much is it done? Why is it done? These are all questions worth looking into, because suicide was the 11^th ranking cause of death in the U.S., says a 2006 study. Why do people commit suicide? What exactly is suicide? Suicide is defined as: 1a) the act or an instance of taking one's own life voluntarily and intentionally especially by a person of years of discretion and of sound mind. In normal words, suicide is when you kill yourself. If it doesn’t strike you as such a violent act, think about it this way: when someone kills someone else, it’s called murder. And suicide is when you kill yourself.

Suicide - The Why

Suicide. If this is an everyday word used in society, why is it such a taboo subject? Many people cringe at the mention of such a word. But why? Maybe because it can happen to everyone. That’s right, it can happen to you, or to me, maybe even them. Which leads us to this question: What causes suicide? Suicide is most commonly associated with depression, but other factors can also cause suicide. The other most notable factors are mental illness and substance abuse.
To truly understand what suicide is, and how dangerous it can be, we must understand what the causes of suicide are. Suicide is most commonly committed by depressed people, of all ages. There is no gender, no age group, no race that is safe from depression. Although research has concluded that depression can pass genetically, through mental illnesses, depression is most commonly caused by external factors, such as:

• Death of a loved one
• Divorce, separation, or break up in a relationship
• Serious loss of material property
• Mental/physical illness
• Intense emotional pain
• Verbal/physical/sexual abuse
• Felling helpless or "trapped"
• Not feeling accepted
• Alcohol/drug abuse
• Bullying
• Low self-esteem
• Inability to deal with various situations

Depression can strike anyone at any given time for any reason. A study stated that in one year, nearly 13 – 14 million people experience some type of depressive disorder. This statistic includes children, men and women, and elderly people. Depression is also linked to chemical imbalances in the brain, but this is still a hypothesis at an early stage.

Suicide - The Who

Simple. Anyone. And that’s what makes it all that more deadly. Suicide can spread through talk, like a virus can spread through air. If your not convinced, here are some links to statistics compiled in 2006 by the American Association of Suicidology.

Depression can happen to anyone. Even you.

Suicide - What Is It?

I have explained to you why suicide is committed, what suicide is, and who commits suicide. But how exactly is suicide committed? I’m sure we can all think of many ways, but the ways are actually quite shocking. Exsanguination, also known as “bleeding out” is a very common method of suicide. Other methods utilized are over dosage of medication, hanging, car collisions, drowning, gunshot wounds, poisoning, electrocution, and even drowning. There have even been reports of people cutting themselves in half with band saws. I will not go into detail about how to commit suicide using these methods, as I do not commend suicide or any type of self-injury.

Suicide - Who It Effects

You would be very mistaken if you thought that suicide only affected the victim. In 2006, the family and friends of 32,637 people mourned the death of their loved one. Imagine for a second. All your friends and family. Even your lab partner in chemistry, or the people you carpool with. Those are all people who would be affected by a suicide. Suicide is a very selfish option. Sometimes, the person who is considering it does feel trapped, and feels like they may have no other option. But many times than not, he/she ends up scarring his friends and family for the rest of their lives. Just think for a second, what would happen to your loved ones if you weren’t there anymore. How would they feel? Chances are, they would probably feel shocked, betrayed, and would probably feel survivor’s guilt for not being able to help and support you. So think, is suicide really the best option?

Do not hesitate to seek help, it may be the best option.

Seeking Help

Fortunately, there are many ways to seek help, especially if you are suffering from depression. When depression is apparent in an individual, please do not avoid the person, or agitate him/her further. We all need help sometimes, and to be helped, we must help others first. Confiding in a friend or a family member is the simplest way to vent your feelings to another individual. You can also meet new people online, even though it is not recommended. Toll free help lines are also available to help you whenever you need it. Please, seek help if you are suffering from depression. If someone around you is suffering from depression, please urge the person to get help.



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Top 10 Ways to Enjoy the Cold Weather

 

Whether you grew up with the snow and have gotten sick of it, or you’re from an area without snow but going to college in an area that gets pretty white in the winter, there are so many fun ways to enjoy the winter weather in college! Here are our top 10 ways to enjoy the cold weather, with five outdoor, and five indoor activities, in no particular order:

Outdoor Activities:

Want to get active and take advantage of the chilly weather outdoors? Grab your snow gear and try out one of these fun ways to spend the day.

Tobogganing

Dig out some snow pants, and your old crazy carpet and hit the hills with your friends! Don’t have any sleds? Make do with creative finds around your house, like laundry baskets or cookie sheets. You can keep it PG, or mix it up with a thermos full of some spiked eggnog to get you in a festive spirit.

Snowball Fight

You’re never too old for a good old-fashioned snowball fight. Plan ahead and enlist some teams – maybe get your girls together to attack those cute boys in the house down the street? Make sure to bundle up with boots and mittens for maximum snowball fighting power, and afterward, head inside for a warm-up with some cocoa and conversation with the opposing team.

Ice Skating

Check online to find out where the skating rinks are in your area. Most places have a “free skate” time scheduled, where anyone can come skate. Get your friends together and head down, rent some skates, and have fun seeing who can do the best figure eight. Before you go, note whether the rink is indoor or outdoor. Outdoor rinks will be chilly, so bundle up, while indoor rinks are usually heated, so you can get away with a lighter ensemble.

Hockey

Along those same lines, while you’ve got your skates on, why not start a game of pick-up hockey? Maybe I’m a little biased, being Canadian and all, but I think hockey is a lot of fun, and it’s really easy for beginners to pick up. Plus, it can be a fun way to meet guys.

Nighttime Stroll

As people start putting up their decorations and the night starts to twinkle with holiday lights and displays, why not take advantage and hit the streets for an evening stroll? Some areas even have nighttime parades or events, so go online or ask your friends to see what’s going on in your area. Grab a coffee at a little downtown shop before you head out, to keep your hands warm as you go.

Indoor Activities:

Not too keen on getting cold and wet outside? Don’t worry, here are five fun things to do this winter from the cozy comfort of your home.

Movie/TV Marathon

Chick flicks, ’90s TV shows, holiday movies, whatever, just pick a theme, rent some DVDs and cuddle up with your girls or a special someone for a cozy night on the couch. This is a great way to unwind after a particularly painful exam, or to bond with your roomies before heading home for break.

Sweet Treats

Test out your newly discovered cooking skills by mixing up a few sweet treats with your friends. Make holiday cookies, brownies, cakes, have someone try something new, or whip up something from their childhood. You’ll make a mess, you’ll eat a ton, and you’ll have a blast the whole time.

Host a Farewell Party

Once everyone is over the hurdle of exams, host a final holiday get together before everyone takes off. You can do an ugly-sweater theme, use one of our other favorite party themes, or just request classy holiday attire, to give you an excuse to rock that festive dress you’ve got stashed in your closet. This is a great way to unwind and get together with people you haven’t had time to see since Halloween!

Get Your Shopping Done

If you’ve got a long list of holiday shopping to do, why not start now? You can either buy online, or at least look online for ideas and make a list. Write down everybody’s name, and an idea or two for what you can get them, and where. Don’t forget to look at prices so you don’t overspend. Grab a hot chocolate and curl up with your laptop for some pre-shopping prep.

Decorate Your Place

Even if you’re stuck inside studying or finishing up assignments, taking some time with your roommates to string up some lights or even trim a miniature tree will help you get in the holiday spirit and look forward to the break, instead of stressing about all you have to finish before the semester is over. Don’t worry about going over-the-top – some dollar store or thrift shop decorations will do. The important part is having fun with your friends, making your place look college-chic for the holidays, and getting in a festive spirit.

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Fly in Your Dreams

Flying during a dream carries an amazing sense of liberty, weightlessness, and power that is hard to replicate in waking life. Being able to fly in your dreams can give you a sense of doing the impossible, and with some practice in the art of lucid dreaming, you can learn to fly in your dreams at will.

Steps

1.

Consider the purpose of flying in your dreams. Flying is a liberating feeling and not something that comes naturally to humans, so the ability to fly in a dream allows you to transcend everyday life. Flying can often be an ideal dream metaphor for release or freedom after you've experienced an emotional breakthrough, allowing you soar above hardships and mental blockages of the past. Given that the sky has no limit, this can be indicative that you don't feel constrained and that you're looking down on everything from a refreshed, new perspective that lets you see things differently.

• Flying dreams are considered to be normal dreams and they are usually associated with extremely positive and exhilarating feelings, with some dreamers reporting a "high" after a flying dream that lasts for several days following

2.

Understand that to induce flying in your dreams, you usually need to be aware of the fact that you're dreaming. This is a phenomenon known as lucid dreaming. Flying usually requires low levels of lucidity, which means that you may only be partially aware that you are in a dream, not that you fully understand that you are actually in bed and asleep. Flying dreams are excellent dream subjects for lucid dreaming as voluntary control of a flying dream is already a strong feature of such a dream.Understand that to induce flying in your dreams, you usually need to be aware of the fact that you're dreaming. This is a phenomenon known as lucid dreaming. Flying usually requires low levels of lucidity, which means that you may only be partially aware that you are in a dream, not that you fully understand that you are actually in bed and asleep. 

• Flying dreams are excellent dream subjects for lucid dreaming as voluntary control of a flying dream is already a strong feature of such a dream.

3. While you're still awake, try to keep alert to the fact that you're dreaming until you fall into sleep paralysis and eventually sleep.

4.

Tell yourself that you're dreaming, and think of a story that involves flying. Your dream should mimic the story in your mind.

5. Once you're lucid dreaming, try the following method for encouraging your dreaming self to fly:

• Jump and get a little higher every time until you can fly.
• Step up invisible stairs.
• Give yourself wings to fly with.
• Materialize a jet pack or flying skateboard to use. Or, try to jump off a tall building. Visualize jumping off a diving board into the sky

6. 

Interpret your flying dreams. While a lucid dream is driven principally by you, dreaming of flying generally can have myriad interpretations and the landscape and accompanying elements will have an impact on the overall interpretation. If you'd like to interpret a flying dream, then the following suggested interpretations might be of interest: 

• If you've been flying during the day, then it's probably a by-product of your hang-gliding, helicopter, or light aircraft experience.
• Flying dreams that have you stopped by power lines, or you're barely able to get off the ground, can indicate that something you're trying to get going in real life is limited by your ability, or other things.
• Flying freely and with great pleasure can indicate a wide range of emotions, feelings, and possibilities, such as: escapism; facing the future with confidence; getting in touch with your inner self (spirituality); no longer being held back by prior hardships or blockages.
• If you're using a contraption to fly with, such as a bed, chair, machine, etc., it could suggest that while you're feeling adventurous, you're still either cautious or you're wanting to keep secure ties with home and family.
• Flying dreams can indicate a compensation for feelings of inferiority in daily life, or as an opportunity to get on top of things so that you can sort your priorities and assess where things currently stand in your life

7. Use external stimuli. In some cases, it can be possible to use external stimuli to change the direction of a dream. One dream investigator raised or lowered the hospital bed of dreaming test subjects and upon awakening, some of them reported dreams of falling or flying. Obviously, the reliability of this method is not certain and even the ability to do this can be challenging unless you're mechanically minded or have a dutiful friend who stays awake and tries to help you. All the same, if you can think of ways to manipulate your external environment safely, this might be another method for inducing flying dreams.

• An easier external stimulus is imagery. Some dreamers use imagery to encourage dreaming, such as posters or pictures of objects like rockets, planes, helicopters, parachutes, hang-gliders, etc. Looking at these intently, or perhaps landscapes taken from the air or space, just before sleep, can be another way to program your dreaming mind.

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8 Reasons Smiling is Good for You

Someone once said, “Smile – It’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.” (Kissing being the first, of course.) And it’s true. With one simple movement, you can change your day, someone’s life, and even the way your body functions. Don’t keep your smiles to yourself. There are many delightful things to be attained from one little smile.

1. Instant beauty – even without makeup

When you smile, the muscles you use to perform the action lift the face. This makes you look younger and more attractive. In addition to that, smiling gives you a positive air that is appealing to people.

2. Elevates your mood

No matter how sad you feel, smiling will often times make you feel better. This happens because when you smile, your body releases endorphins, other natural pain killers, and serotonin.

3. Keeps you positive

It is hard for you to be sad when everyone around you is happy and smiling. Add to this the natural high you get when you smile. How can you not have a positive attitude with all the happiness flowing through your mind and body?

4. Stress reliever

The happy hormones and pain killers released when you smile help relax your body and mind. So the next time you feel anxious and stressed, just stop what you’re doing, take a few deep breaths, and smile.

5. Easy way to health

Your immune system functions better when your body is calm and relaxed. Smiling can help prevent heart disease by lowering blood pressure. Your digestion and blood sugar levels may also benefit from smiling. And I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but smiling can help make workouts more fun and bearable.

6. Aura of success

The positivity and happiness that you get from smiling contributes to the way people view you. If you smile, you appear more confident and successful to other people.

7. Makes you approachable

People are more drawn to you if you are smiling and happy, rather than when you are sad and frowning. You will look more approachable and friendly. You will have a higher chance of landing projects, getting a job, and making new friends.

8. Good kind of contagious

A smile is one of the things that I wouldn’t mind catching from someone else. And it’s a good thing that smiling is contagious. Did you notice that seeing a happy scene on TV, a successful friend, or a smiling person/group also makes you smile?

Life is too short for frowns and negativity. When you find yourself feeling down, find ways to make yourself smile. There are so many reasons and ways in this life to turn that frown upside down. Embrace the habit of smiling and feel the changes in your everyday life. Now, think about it: when was the last time you smiled?

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Stop Saying I Don't Know

Do you hear yourself saying "I don't know" to the point where you feel like people think you're a dull, blank slate? Many times, people fall into this habit out of laziness or apathy. How do you overcome the habit now that you are feeling more vivacious and engaged? This article will provide you with some inspiration!

Steps 

1. How often do you say it? Keep a journal or log of how often you use this phrase. It doesn't have to be elaborate--just somehow mark every time. The back on a notebook, in a notepad, or whatever works for you. #*The idea is not to somehow feel terrible about yourself; by knowing how often you do this behavior, you can both become more aware of your words as well as track your successful progress over time. #*Remember: focus on awareness of this habit...you do not have to punish yourself in order to break this pattern.

2. Resolve to find a replacement phrase for now. Tell yourself that you will not say "I don't know" - unless you have listened carefully and really do not know. Instead, try saying something - anything - else. It might be helpful to come up with several different words to say instead, to avoid slipping into making any of the replacement words becoming a habit as well. Some examples include: "Hmmm." Or, "Not sure." Or, "Maybe". Or, "What do you think?" Or, "I would like to hear you in order to think a little more". In the latter case, asking a question back to the person can cause them to think a little more about what they've said, buying you some thinking time too!

3. Recognize that it is perceived as lazy because it is lazy. The person you're talking to will know instantly that you simply don't want to think about what they've said, or that you're not even interested in talking to them. Once you say "I dunno," you've killed the conversation. Where does the other person go with that? Does s/he explain whatever it is that "you dunno"? You would find it rude, probably. Just as rude as shutting down the conversation with "I dunno." 

4. Listen actively. Instead of thinking about other things, staring off into space, or figuring out what you want to talk about next, try really listening to your conversation partner. Ask a question or two about what s/he's saying - anything is good. Try, "Is that right?" when you notice that the other person seems to be waiting for you to say something. In addition, consider asking questions that help you learn. For instance: 

• "So what do you think about the plot of the movie?" "I'm not sure I understand why X chose to do Y. Did you catch that?"
• "What do you know about that cutie in Calculus?" "Not much..didn't he say he was from Nebraska?"
• "Why was Tamara so upset last night?" "Did you ask her? She ran right by me!"
• "Edward, what did you get for question 3?" "I had trouble, Miss Sausan. I had trouble understanding what Hamlet meant here..." (You show that you've thought about the work, and your teacher will likely not give you a hard time. Listen close to the sigh of relief from other students around you!

5. Think about what you're being asked. If you don't have an answer immediately, rather than saying "I don't know," instead, just pause. Think. If you're really flummoxed, beg your conversation partner's pardon by saying something like, "You know what - I don't think I ever really thought about it until now." At least this lets your partner know you heard him or her, and that you are actively thinking about the question rather than just automatically popping out with "I dunno."

6. Recant it if it comes out. "Recant" means "take it back". And don't get flustered over it. If you blurt out the unthinking "I dunno," just immediately say, "Wait... I think... Let me think about that for a second." Just take it back. Your conversation partner will be very generous about it, especially if s/he thinks you want to consider whatever it is that s/he was saying. Nothing is better in a conversation than making the other person feel as if you think whatever they're talking about is very important and worth thinking over.

7. Accept that responding to people with "I don't know" is a bad habit and will take some time to break. Don't be too tough on yourself if you find yourself still saying it from time to time. 

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5 Simple Tips on Choose an Engagement Ring

Shopping for an engagement ring doesn't have to be a dreaded experience. With the right amount of knowledge about what to look for in a ring, coupled with your excitement about asking the girl of your dreams to marry you, this can be an enjoyable exercise matching your newly discovered ring expertise with the money you've got available to spend. In this article, you'll learn the most important things to consider when choosing an engagement ring for your beloved.

1. Be familiar with the terms that you'll be confronted with when shopping for a ring. Giving the impression that you know what you're looking for will increase your confidence and help you to ward off any disreputable ring sellers. Here are some of the terms to be familiar with:

• Band: The band is the circular part of the ring that sits around the finger. It's usually made from gold, silver, or platinum, although it can be made from some other combination of metals.
• Setting: The setting refers to the piece that holds the gemstone in place, which is attached to the band. The setting can be "pronged" or "invisible".
• Gemstone: The gemstone is the feature piece of the ring, usually a diamond. Occasionally, this is facetiously referred to as a "rock". The bigger the stone, the better according to many, although it's more important to go with your girlfriend's personality and preferences rather than assuming this. The gemstone doesn't have to be a diamond (see below) but reasons for deviating from this should be good ones!
• The 4 C's: These are the carat, color, clarity and cut of the gemstone (usually a diamond).

2. Choose a good jeweler. The main thing to remember here is that expensive doesn't necessarily equate with being the ideal jeweler. Look for a store that makes you feel comfortable, where the staff are pleasant and helpful, and where the advice they provide gels with you. As well, be sure to look somewhere that fits within your budget range; this avoids the inevitable disappointment at finding something that would be "just perfect if it didn't cost so much". If you can, check that the jeweler is registered with a society, association, or organization that regulates, certifies, etc., jewelers, such as the National Association of Goldsmiths in the UK

• Ask around your married friends or your family for recommendations on a good, trusted jeweler. Obviously, this will mean they'll know what you're up to, although you can just say that you want to buy a nice piece of jewelery.
• Go shopping together
  If you're happier proposing first and shopping for a ring with your fiancée, take her preferences for the store into account as well. This is easier where you'd prefer that her choice and tastes are fully accounted for; it's just as romantic, but it means you'll need to provide a mock-ring for the engagement, and explain to her that you'd rather the two of you choose the ring together.
• Another thing to discuss with the jeweler is the ability to custom design the wedding ring to match the engagement ring. You might like to think ahead to this eventuality because it can be a stunning combination to have both rings matching well together.

3. Find out her tastes. If you're purchasing the ring without her, choosing one will be will more difficult where the ring is a surprise because obviously you won't be able to ask her. Do keep in mind that nowadays, many women prefer to be part of a joint decision to purchase a ring, so if you find it really difficult to know her style and taste, provide a temporary ring and tell her that you'll choose the real one together. Some of the ways to try and work out her taste include: 

• Asking her about rings in general. If you're going past a jewelery store pretend to be interested in a watch. Then casually drop a comment about the styles of rings, saying you like a certain type and asking her what she likes. If you're very good, she won't notice the ruse. If you're not so good, she'll probably tweak but she still won't know when! Other ways of getting her to talk about engagement rings is to make a comment about a friend's engagement ring and to ask her preferences at the same time.
• Ask her family for ideas. This will depend on whether or not you want them to know before she does, of course.
• Another ruse is to have her friends take her into a store to ask her "just for fun". You'll need to have absolute trust in them to keep quiet and to pull this off. It's not a good option if you'd prefer to keep it quiet until the moment of the proposal.
• Sum up her tastes from the clothes she wears and her existing jewelery. Your in the best position to know whether she likes plain, fancy, patterns, large or small fashion statements. Is she traditional, classic, contemporary, or way out there? Use what you do know about her fashion preferences to your own advantage.
• Is she an impassioned supporter of Fair Trade and human rights? Be sure to look for recycled gold and conflict-free diamonds as part of your choosing process.

4.  Fix your budget. There is a tradition that holds that a man should spend two months of his salary on the engagement ring. Whether or not you do this will depend on your wish to conform to tradition. What does matter is that you select a ring according to what you can afford, so have a good idea of this amount before searching. 

• Let your jeweler know your price range so that he or she can show you a variety of rings that fall within that range.
• Keep in mind the possibility of having an engagement ring customized. Talk to the jeweler about the price options, the timing, and the styles that are possible.

5. Know your diamonds. Diamonds tend to be the traditional engagement ring choice, because they are enduring, and match everything. Only deviate from a diamond if you know that your girlfriend loves another stone much, much more, or has voiced her intense dislike of diamonds. When choosing a diamond, be aware of the "Four C's", as follows: 

• Carat: This refers to the unit measurement of the diamond, and refers to weight (not size). Every carat has 100 points. Engagement rings are usually 1 carat but the ring you choose will obviously depend on your budget. A 1 carat ring on a limited budget may not rate very highly in other areas, taking away from its overall beauty.
• Color: The color of diamonds varies considerably and most people prefer a very white colored diamond for an engagement ring. Colors are graded from D (colorless and rare) and most good quality diamonds will be around F and H and grades D to I are acceptable to buy as they are almost identical when mounted.
• Clarity: Being natural, there will be imperfections in the diamond. The less imperfections, the greater the clarity and the more light is reflected from the diamond, causing it to "sparkle". Naturally, more clarity increases its value. Perfectly flawless diamonds with no internal flaws or surface blemishes are very hard to find as they are extremely rare. Fewer flaws in a diamond result in greater brilliance as more light is reflected^.
  • The scale used to grade clarity goes from F1 for a flawless diamond, to VVS1 and VVS2 for very slight inclusions, to VS1 and VS2 for very slight inclusions, SI1 and SI2 for slight inclusions and I1, I2 and I3 for imperfect diamonds.
  • Diamonds are magnified by 10 times to judge their clarity so very slight imperfections are difficult to see with the naked eye. This means that there is a range of diamonds available even for more modest budgets. If you can see a mark without magnification, however, think carefully before you buy.
• Cut: There are different ways to cut a diamond, and the type of cut impacts the sparkle of the diamond. The cut that produces the most sparkle is the round (or brilliant) cut, while radiant and princess cuts are good at hiding flaws. Other cuts including square, emerald, pear, marquise, cushion, Asscher, and heart-shaped.The oval shape looks best with larger stones, and looks bigger than the round cut

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