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Friday, February 12, 2010

Just How Hard it is To Forgive


Do you hate someone? Do you easily forgive the persons who do wrong to you?

Forgiveness is a very common word. When we were kids we often hear our parents talked about forgiveness and that’s basically how we learn to say sorry. But it was easy back then to say sorry and or to forgive. As kids we barely know what hatred is. But now forgiveness is too hard to give, especially when the wrong committed is just too grave, especially when the person who has wronged you is too insensitive to utter the word sorry. The world we live in is an unfair world; people (most) are unfair at each other.

I acknowledge I hate some people. If I don’t acknowledge that fact, I detour around the predicament of forgiveness. I’m not perfect and I’m not too good to not hate. If you tell me you have not hated someone you are a big LIAR. You might want to go to your room for a moment of silence, and ponder, your senses might come back and you realize you are also a hater.

Hate can easily consume us. Hate can easily destroy us. It can assault as every time, any time, anywhere. Hate travels with you, it sleeps with you. And let me guess even in the process of engaging in sexual congress hate may even engross you.. (Hahahaha, am just partly kidding..) Seriously, hate lives immortality even if the object of your hate is buried below the churchyard. Hate may not have the decency, the civility to die even when the hated is dead. That’s how vicious hate is.

Forgiveness is essential to killing hate to a final rest. But like what I said, forgiving is very hard. When hate is planted, revenge is fueled. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. Many of us have this unwritten rule “You hurt me! I hurt you back”. Is it innate in human nature to redeem evil by an evil deed of retaliation? Such that when we are hurt the first thing that comes to mind is “revenge”? But when we get our revenge is the hate gone? Are we relieved? Do we even the score? I doubt!

Forgiving is tough. It’s not an easy process, especially when the wound is so deep. I hate some people. I’m battling with it. I must forgive even if no sorry was ever said, even if my blood boils at the very thought and site of my enemy, even if I am not able to get my revenge, even if doing so seems to mean losing. Yes it does seem like you lose the battle and your enemy wins if you forgive. But when you really analyze it, when you forgive you free a prisoner, yourself. When you forgive you win! Forgive to find peace, serenity and happiness. Forgive because you know that’s right.

If you can think of those people who have hurt you and then you can freely exercise the power to wish them well, then forgiveness has begun.

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